On Your Left (soulmark AU)
by HolmesSlice
Summary: Sam Wilson has two soul marks, a fairly uncommon experience, whose identities surprises him.


**All rights belong to respective owners**

 **Author's Note: I wrote this in 2014. Crippling self-doubt made me question if what I was writing was good, plausible and any other excuse to not write or post. And for years my doubt won, until now...**

 **A lot of research went into this. I wanted to make Sam from a neighborhood near where Rogers and Barnes grew up. I wanted to include characters from Barnes's family that are from the comics. I wanted to include some about Sam's pararescue training. It's not as fleshed out as I'd like, I'm still growing on how to take what I learn through research and constructing a well-written narrative.**

 **I know I took some artistic license with some of Sam's origins. So please bear those choices.**

 **There's going to be two parts to this. The second is likely not going to be as lengthy. I wanted to write more from Sam's perspective, and life rather than Rogers and Barnes.**

 **To be clear: This is a soulmark AU with Sam Wilson being matched with Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes.**

 **On Your Left**

 **Part One**

Samuel Thomas Wilson, born September 23rd, 1978, from Vinegar Hill, Brooklyn had been born with his soulmark. Two of them actually, while not unheard of, was rare enough to be seen as odd, weird and at worst something to hate. At first, both started with what looked like a birthmark; its words could not be easily read. As Sam aged, the soulmark slowly came into sharper focus. The summer before kindergarten was when the Wilson family was able to read both soulmarks with ease. Sam had come running in from the street, soaking wet from playing in the street's hydrant, screaming about how one of his marks could be read.

"On your left, on your left" was marked on the left side of his ass. It was the one Sam couldn't read. In his excitement of being to read his other soulmark he knew the other could be read. He dropped his shorts to his mother's voice shouted gaily "Sam!" who then read it out loud. It meant his soulmate was going to be a smart ass his father commented with a chuckle. Sam gasped, and pointed to his dad shouting, "Language! Dad has to pay a dollar!" Sam's mother came out from the kitchen handing Sam's dad with the "swear jar." Soulmarks were marked in the soulmate's own handwriting. The soulmark was written in very upright handwriting, a no frills, straight to the point, kind of person. It wasn't the neatest handwriting Sam had seen though. His grandmother coming to mind whose cursive was a thing of art.

"Who are… help me?" marked his pubic region. The scrawl was very much unlike the one on his ass. It seemed uncertain and maybe a little timid. Sam often asked out loud why he was feeling protective over the mark. His parents smiled telling him that it was because Sam was a nurturer and compassionate. He cared about people and wanted to make them feel better.

When soulmarks had first appeared many had proclaimed this proved the existence of souls and more than that proved that certain relationships were divined by God. However when those with multiple soulmarks, or occurred in relationships that were deemed deviant-homosexual, interracial, polyamorous and others or those who were blank that's when many hid their soulmarks while activist groups were formed to help fight against the intolerance or added to already formed activist groups such as the ACLU.

Sam's parents were open, loving and encouraging. They never let Sam feel bad about his soulmarks for any reason. Especially because of what society purported during the turbulent and less tolerant times. Sam's parents had always been encouraging and open whenever he'd come home from a classmate's home talking about what he heard their parents say about soulmarks. They'd take the time to explain to him what people thought and how it was senseless hatred seeped in intolerance and ignorance much like how people hated them because of the color of their skin.

In the second grade before class one of his best friends, Anijah had been talking about playing house at recess. They both stood under the jungle gym talking about who was going to play the father, mother, so on and so forth. Another of his friends, Leon, had joined into play. It was there that Anijah assigned Sam as husband and Leon as the husband. Sam's heartbeat quickened in a way that a seven year child couldn't quite fully understand but on some level did. He only remembered Anijah officiating the marriage and Leon and Sam kissing each other briefly on the lips because that was what married couples did at a wedding. Sam had been to two weddings and was a ring bearer at one, he knew this.

He didn't fully understand his feelings. Sam only knew that he liked Leon much in the same way he liked a girl in his class earlier in the year named Gina. He liked everyone but Gina and Leon were different. Just like Anijah was a different kind of different as well, "in different sort of way from the other different sort of way," Sam would explain with his parents smiling whenever he'd talk about Gina, Leon, Anijah and his days at school.

Leon and Sam didn't quite understand when Leon's parents had demanded a parent-teachers conference with Sam's parents. What resulted was a brief detention for Sam and Leon being moved into another class. While rumors didn't start (somehow Leon's parents urged this greatly Sam remembered as he sat in the chair staring intently at his sneakers while Leon did the same across the room). Sam knew he was different. It was yet another kind of difference. Though unlike the other types of differents, it was enough that Sam felt ashamed and guilty. It was a difference he knew he'd never be allowed himself to feel even if his parents loved him, encouraged him. The rest of the world didn't feel that way and it had gotten him in trouble. He remembered the extra hugs and kisses his parents gave him.

"Dad, what does 'on your left, on your left' mean?" Sam, ten years old, asked.

"It means that a jogger was passing you and was giving you a warning," his dad replied.

"But it happens twice!" Sam replied confused. He was a fast runner. How could someone pass him twice?

"It means the jogger passed you twice, likely faster than you," his dad responded, affectionately rubbing Sam's head, "now come here and give me a hand with dinner."

Sam grumbled while he helped prepare dinner about how he had been the fastest runner in class and maybe even in the entire school. He talked about how he had even outrun the sixth grader in field day. His dad smiled as they talked about Sam joining track.

All Sam knew was that he wanted to be number one. He was extremely studious nearly always earning top marks. He didn't always get number one. His arch nemesis being his best friend Anijah. It was always in good fun as they spurned each other on to do their best.

Sam and Anijah liked each other (but Sam giving his different speech to his parents). They'd play together. They'd go to the movies with their classmates to see the latest Disney production (previous ones being The Great Mouse Detective, Flight of the Navigator). They'd play in the vacant lot usually soccer or stickball.

When Sam's parents splurged on a VCR player with a really cool car that rewinded the tapes, he would invite some of his classmates to watch. Always age appropriate as his mother would reassure the other parents. Though Sam didn't always understand why some of the parents seemed to hate Disney movies though deep down he knew that wasn't the case but didn't like the way it made him feel. Even though he couldn't fully put it into words he knew it was something more complicated, something that hurt him more than some kid's parents not wanting them to spend time at his apartment. His parents always told him that there would be people like that but he should always put his happiness and safety first.

In high school, Sam had his first love, Jack. The two met each other in freshman year both trying out for track and field. The two took to each other like two peas in a pod.

Jack soon became the third to the Sam and Anijah duo. The three hung out together each talking to each other on a conference call sharing their fears, dreams, who they liked, the homework and so much more. Jack and Sam pestered Anijah about her classmate in her AP chemistry class. Sam had decided to pursue mathematics while Jack took to the humanities.

"His name's Scott," Anijah gushed, "he's a couple years older. He's so dreamy! Plus we like some of the same bands, the same movies,..."

That's when Sam and Jack promised to have Anijah's back. Soon enough Anijah and Scott were going steady under the watchful eye of his parents and grandmother. Then they were under the watchful eye of Jack's grandparents and Sam's parents. Anijah would sometimes huff in frustration but accepted that everyone was overprotective.

One Saturday afternoon Scott had invited Anijah, Sam, and Jack to his house. There they met Scott's grandmother and his parents. The home smelled of good Italian food, and filled with knick knacks from through the decades.

Scott's grandmother had brought out slices of zuppa Ingles accompanied with large glasses of milk. All of the teens eagerly tucked into the Italian dessert. Both Sam and Jack smiling from ear to ear at how good it was. They loudly complemented Scott's grandmother. Scott and Anijah flirted with each other teasing each other, feeding each other for full of cake. Scott's grandmother laughed out loud remembering with bittersweet memories of a pair of boys that meant the world to her.

"Spitting image of my brother only not as mischievous. He was always after a dame as if he thought we didn't know. His heart was already taken. To the end of the line for those two," Scott's grandmother mused, "now who wants to help me with supper?"

Anijah and Scott made quite the pair. Each both loved science sometimes making chemistry jokes, laughing at their own humor. Sam and Jack would look on, smiling, shoulders touching and each giving each other small, shy glances. It was the same feeling with Leon, Gina, and a few others. It was a different kind of different. A blooming warm kind of different.

Jack and Sam listened on at Scott's dining room table as Anijah and Scott spoke with each other. Sam's left hand on the table next to Jack's right hand. Sam took a gulp and leaned his pinkie over Jack's pinkie. Sam felt Jack stiffen and dreaded the possibility of rejection. Then he felt Jack move his finger affectionately encouraging Sam to loop around it.

Jack was a blank and knew Sam had two soulmarks. Aside from the stigma that resulted from soulmarks that society deemed deviant, they were also harsh on those born without a mark. Harsh words of soulless, deviant, homewrecker and other callous words were often associated with blanks.

Sam gave Jack an encouraging squeeze with his pinkie. Scott's grandmother looked on with a twinkle remembering two men who shyly navigated something similar. Her family would do the same as they had done in the past.

"Now you too if you ever need a place to stay, or to feel comfortable you are always welcome here. We always have room and the more the merrier. We always have a spare room available," Scott's grandmother smiled.

Sam thought about the comment she had made earlier.

"Ma'am, who were you talking about earlier?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, my brother and his best friend. They fought in the great war but both were lost to it."

"I'm sorry," Sam said feeling a poke in the side from Jack.

" Pish tosh, none of that," Scott's grandmother chided, "I'm an old woman so many of my immediate family have gone. Besides aside from the Smithsonian there's not been much interest in the younger sister of a war hero."

"I'd like to hear about you, and them," Sam said, "if you don't mind."

"Very well then, I can't imagine any young 'uns wanting to spend this time with an old woman." Scott's grandmother said chuckling as she watched the four teens gathered around on the floor while Scott's grandmother sat in her recliner. On her lap were letters, the few photographs of them as children and into adulthood, and trinkets they had sent back from abroad.

"My name is Rebecca Penelope Barnes Proctor," Rebecca started.

"Wait, Barnes?" Sam whispered loudly who was shushed by Anijah.

"Holy hell," Jack whispered as loudly immediately scolded by Rebecca with a "language, dear."

That afternoon they learned all about Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. Sam ignored the heat that pooled in his gut. They were dead war heroes he admonished himself and if they were alive they'd have been very old war heroes.

The rest of Sam's time at high school was filled with memories of Jack, Anijah and Scott. Anijah and Scott attended each dance, prom, and party as a couple. Whereas Jack would often take the first girl to ask him while Sam would go alone claiming to be a bachelor for life. Often times the four of them would go to a party where Jack would maintain his reputation as a lady's man. After the party though Jack and Sam would often end up at Sam's home or at Rebecca's home. They'd spend the rest of the night talking, reminiscing, and learning every nook and cranny of each other's body.

Sam and Jack lost their virginity the night of senior prom. They rented a hotel room where Sam pulled out all the romantic tropes he could think of: the petals on the bed, the candles, the massage oil, everything to make their night as memorable as possible. Jack and Sam lay in each other's arms excited for the graduation to come. Soon they'd be able to move to university where Sam and Jack would have much more freedom. Jack had been staying with Sam's family since having his parents learn about his relationship with Sam.

After high school, Anijah went to Boston to attend Harvard with the intent of pursuing a degree in microbial sciences and a secondary concentration in neurobiology while Scott had gone to attend M.I.T. to achieve a double major in Computer Science and engineering and mechanical engineering. When Anijah graduated from the undergraduate program Scott and Anijah were to marry and continue their studies both wanting to further their degree. Sam and Jack headed to Washington D.C. to attend university. Sam attended George Washington University looking to obtain a bachelor in human science and a minor in public health whereas Jack attended Georgetown University to obtain degrees in international affairs and peace studies. They both joined the ROTC program at each university. Sam and Jack lived off campus in an apartment nearby fully able to make their relationship public. There was something about walking hand in hand or enjoying the parks nearby.

They had passed the qualifications to become pararescuemen. The training was an intense two years known as "superman training." They had signed up to do a 6 year enlistment contract with the intent upon entering the Air Force on the GTEP and receiving a bonus upon completing the training. They had finished their training when both were only 23 years old. Jack and Sam were deployed to Afghanistan. Sam had decided to further his studies with a masters in Psychology.

They served together. They had a studio apartment in a burrough near Boston close to Anijah and Scott. Anijah had become Anijah Bennett Proctor. She was obtaining a PH.D. with the intent of becoming a professor while Scott worked with a prominent tech company. They had married as soon as Anijah had graduated. By the time Anijah was twenty five, she had twin boys and a girl. Before long Jack and Sam became test pilots for the Exo-7 Falcon. Such was their life. Jack would stroke Sam's soulmarks with Sam assuring Jack that nothing could separate them.

2010 was not a good year for Sam. It was supposed to be a standard PJ rescue op. They had done it thousands of time. Yet an RPG knocked Jack out of the sky. Sam could only look on as he screamed his name. "Riley," Sam yelled, taking to calling Jack by his last name while they were in active duty. He continued to scream his name until it was hoarse hating that he could do nothing. He had lost more than his wingman. He had lost his best friend. He had lost his lover, his soulmate, soulmark be damned.

Sam found it increasingly difficult to serve. He had one year left on the contract. His nights were plagued with nightmares of Jack falling out of the sky. Anijah and Scott were there for Sam. They had felt the loss of Jack keenly as well. When his contract was up Sam wanted out. He couldn't do it anymore.

He sat in their studio apartment. The soft music of Billie Holiday on vinyl filled the room. Sam stroked Jack's ID tag. An overwhelming sadness had settled deep in the very fiber of his being. The nightmares, the sadness, the anger had been too much. Upon Anijah's urging, Sam sought counseling through the VA. It was there that Sam felt his calling.

Sam decided to attend Widener University's Military and Veteran Behavioral Health Post-Master's certificate program. He wanted to deal with his pain and trauma but also help those who had their own trauma. It was the nurturer in him. He felt this encompassing compassion for those who had suffered while in deployment.

What Sam didn't know was that the lifetime of always being true to himself meant he was going to meet his soulmates soon.

Author's Note: I would appreciate feedback since it's been years since I've really written anything. I want to get back into it and thanks to my real life friends and their support (so sweet! c: ) here is the first installment. And yes I am nervous...


End file.
